Dreaming of Moonflowers
by fishebake
Summary: That awkward moment when you try to travel through time, and accidentally end up in another universe. Crossover fic with Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen and Moonflower by Monster Cat Music Girl.
1. Chapter 1

**I am a terrible human being. Why did I do this? Oh right, I thought it would be funny to do a crossover fic with two different SIs.**

 **I am still a terrible human being.**

 **Warning: if you're reading Moonflower, this story has MAJOR SPOILERS FOR UNPOSTED PLOT. If you don't mind, then go ahead. If you do... just... kind of stick this in your favorites and forget about it until you see that I've posted said spoilers. A bunch of this chapter is copied directly from DoS, which I will mark as Silver Queen's and not my own writing. Pretty much assume that everything from Shikako's point of view is taken from DoS, with minor grammar and plot edits for now.**

 **This will also be updating kind of slowly, as I have the actual story of Moonflower to write, and also my most popular story, Of Demons and Men, and then there's a trilogy that I want to finish writing. :P**

 **If you haven't guessed, this story switches POVs from Shikako to Inoko and back again, and will continue to do so unless otherwise stated.**

* * *

 **(start DoS copy)**

 ***Shikako's POV***

Iruka-sensei dismissed us for what was, in all actuality, a very long lunch break seeing as how we had only come to the Academy for team assignments anyway. I think it may have been a subtle way of saying 'bow to the whims of your superiors, no matter how nonsensical'. He had said, "Get to know your teammates" but we had all been in the same class for the past seven years; it wasn't like we didn't know each other. Then again, given the Naruto-Sasuke combination, that didn't necessarily equate to being friends.

"Umm, did you want to eat lunch together?" I asked softly. "I have extra lunch." Mum had made extra lunch for the sole purpose of sharing with our teammates. Nothing quite breaks the ice like free food.

Naruto lit up like Christmas had come early. "Awesome! Your mom makes the best bento! Hey, why don't we go find Shikamaru? He's on Chouji's team, right?" He grabbed my arm and started dragging. Given that's how I usually get Shika to move, I acknowledge the irony.

"Sasuke?" I queried, sticking my feet to the floor against Naruto's tugging. He clearly didn't intend to come with us. "Will you please come?"

I could see the 'don't get in my way' written on his face. He clearly didn't like being put on a three person, and certainly not with Naruto. I found it interesting that he didn't seem to have expected the teams.

Now that I thought about it… it wasn't something that had been covered in the Academy _explicitly._ It was just… there. Implicit in everything; ninja work in teams. Something you just _knew_ from family, from stories. It wasn't something you got told.

Which left a lot of people out in the cold: civilian kids, orphans… they'd have no idea about the 'unspoken rules'. I hadn't even realized there were any.

Naruto groaned. "Aww, what do you want him to come for? It's bad enough that he has to be on _our_ team… hey, do you think Iruka-sensei will let us swap him? Maybe for Sakura-chan, yeah, that'd be great!"

Sasuke scowled. "Fine," he bit out, probably just out of spite.

I felt like sighing and let Naruto drag me inside. Trying to keep the peace between these two was going to cause a headache and a half. And that isn't even mentioning trying to get them to work together.

Lunch was trying. Finding Shika meant finding Ino, who spent the entire time fussing over Sasuke, who got increasingly irritated and sniped at Naruto. Naruto shouted back. It was hardly a calming, relaxing 'get to know you'.

Hmm. It might have been cleverer to _reduce_ the amount of time we spent together to avoid getting on each other's nerves. Then again, I suspected we would have plenty of time after lunch to annoy each other as well.

We went back to class and the other teams were collected one by one. Sarutobi Asuma collected Team Ten, looking completely unbothered, and Yuhi Kurenai, looking neatly professional, escorted Team Eight out of the classroom. A jounin I didn't recognize took Sakura with Team One. Then it was just us. Iruka-sensei looked flustered and checked his watch.

"I've got to be at the mission desk in ten minutes. You'll be alright waiting for your jounin-sensei?" he asked.

We assured him that we would. Or rather, Sasuke grunted, I nodded, and Naruto chattered loudly about how there was nothing he couldn't do.

I'd brought a book with me, as I did nearly every day. It was a thick and heavy book on Metabolic Biochemistry. Chemistry had never been my forte, but everything was subtly different here with the inclusion of chakra cycles. Chakra wasn't stored as ATP as the rest of the energy in the body was, it was… well, no one actually knew. It manifested mostly as light, so it was hypothesised to be stored as electromagnetic or some form of waveform energy, but that was starting to get into physics beyond my understanding.

Sasuke was, of course, capable of waiting patiently, even if it was with bad grace. Naruto, however, was bored long before Iruka left, and without the commanding glare of his teacher, started investigating the classroom. He opened drawers and cupboards, peered behind shelves, and leaned so far out the window he nearly fell out. The teachers knew better than to leave anything in the classrooms, and there wasn't really enough there to keep him entertained.

I thought about suggesting he read a book, but rejected the idea. I certainly didn't have anything that he would be interested in, and it was doubtful that he brought anything.

 _Then again,_ I thought, watching him prop the blackboard eraser on top of the door, _it's not like he's destroying anything._

Sasuke snorted in disgust. "No half decent jounin is going to fall for that." It was clear he was bored and itching for a fight.

I felt a… shiver in the air. The amount of ambient chakra just increased, as though someone had used a jutsu.

 _What-?_

There was someone in the corridor. I ignored Sasuke and Naruto arguing and watched the door slid open, the eraser falling to land on a mop of - blonde hair?

There was an instant of silence.

"Bwahahahaha!" Naruto howled. "You fell for it! I can't believe it! Take that, Sasuke! I am the prank master!" **(end Dos copy)** I felt cold.

 _That's not Hatake Kakashi._

* * *

 ***Inoko's POV***

That's _not Haruno Sakura._ I blinked in surprise, but instead focused on the laughing blond and the eraser plopped on my head. _Just like old times,_ I thought fondly. I removed the eraser from my head and set it down on the desk, ignoring the dark haired girl staring at me like I had killed someone.

Well, I had. Many people, actually, but probably no one she knew.

Maybe.

"Sorry about being late, I overslept," I explained, then glanced over them. "Hmm. My first impression of you," I mused, staring at them until all three looked away. I finished flatly, "I don't like you." I heard the dark haired girl wince softly. "Meet me on the roof in five minutes~" I sang, then shunshined my way up.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

 _That's not Kakashi_ , I thought numbly as I climbed the stairs. The blonde woman that entered the room was not who I thought was going to be teaching. I was expecting a tall, lazy, porn reading jounin. Not an average woman who was by far the scariest person I had ever seen. _Those eyes…_ I resisted the urge to shudder.

"Excellent," the woman said as we sat down on the steps in front of her. I studied her while doing my best to not meet her eyes. She was leaning against the railing, and I was purposely not meeting her snake like eyes. She seemed to be about thirty, but her very chakra felt tired. Older. Her light blonde hair came about halfway down to her back, coiled in a braid. Small red flowers were stuck in the plait, and a sprig of rosemary poking out behind an ear. She was a Yamanaka alright.

Her headband was battered and dull with a vertical cut that matched with a white scar on her right cheek. Her baby blue eyes, the same color as Ino's, really, were cut by vertical snake-like pupils. She had heavy bags underneath them, suggesting a sleep disorder. Insomnia, perhaps?

"Glad you made it up in time. I despise tardy people." She seemed oblivious to the irony of her statement. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves." There was an awkward silence. "You know, likes, dislikes, ho- You know what, I'll just go first and show you how it's done. My name is Yamanaka Inoko. I like my summons, chocolate, and learning. I dislike cockroaches and green beans. My hobbies are sealing, learning new things, and eating good food. My dream for the future…" She leaned forward with a gleam in her eyes as I filed the information away. " _Is to change the world_."

I didn't trust her at all. I knew I had been forgetting things, but I knew for a fact that there never was a 'Yamanaka Inoko' in the Narutoverse. _So who is she, and why has she replaced Kakashi?_

"Your turn, Duckling," she said, gesturing to Sasuke. I felt him bristle beside me at the nickname as Naruto snickered.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he intoned quietly. "I have lots of dislikes, but it doesn't matter since there is almost nothing I like. My dream for the future… no, my _ambition_ is to revive my clan and kill a certain man." Inoko blinked slowly, the only sign she heard being the slight tightening of her jaw. There was something horrifying about listening to a twelve year old declare intent to murder in a perfectly emotionless tone, and our new sensei seemed to see that too.

"I see," she said evenly. "What about you, Kit?" _Is she going to give all of us nicknames?_ I thought, amused but still wary.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" he shouted. "What I like is ramen, especially the kind at Ichiraku Ramen! What I dislike is the three minute wait after you pour in the boiling water! My hobbies are eating ramen! And my dream… is to be the next Hokage!"

"Interesting," Inoko said, then winked. "Though I think there might be a couple between you and the old man." … _What?_ She gave a sly grin, then gestured for me to go. **(start DoS copy with minor edits)**

"My name is Nara Shikako. I like my family and the deer. I dislike people yelling. My hobbies are reading and… helping out at the clan workshop. My dream…" I hesitated.

As I gave the basic introduction, my voice was quiet, and trembled just a little. Public speaking of any kind, even in front of only a few people, had always afflicted me with nerves. It was something I had no control over, something that defied any sort of reasoning. No matter how much I repeated to myself that nothing would happen, that there was nothing scary about talking to people, still my voice would shake.

The boys probably didn't notice, but Inoko-sensei undoubtedly did. I wonder what she thought of it. Did she think I had low self esteem, did she think I was shy, did she think anything of it at all?

 _My dream is to be special._ I almost said it, but I looked up at just the wrong moment. The boys didn't seem to be paying any attention at all, and Inoko was staring at me with an intensity that reminded me nothing more than a predator eyeing her prey. I shuddered, and instead whispered, "doesn't matter." She looked at me for a long moment more before I felt her eyes move off me. **(end DoS copy with minor edits)**

"Everything matters," Inoko said airily. She flashed me a smile that belied her terrifying appearance before continuing. "It's good that you have dreams for the future. It implies that you'll be alive and strong enough to achieve them." Her gaze flickered from Sasuke to Naruto. I caught a glimpse of pain in her eyes. "We'll be taking our first mission tomorrow."

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered. "Are we rescuing a princess? Or taking down a warlord?"

Inoko was silent for a second, then began to… giggle? I could feel the tendril of foreign chakra in my system that wanted me to believe that the sky was darkening. I isolated it quickly and dispelled it. It felt felt smooth and cold against my senses.

She lifted her head a little and gave us a cold, yet amused look. I shuddered and looked away.

"Not quite. It's a survival exercise, really. But," she said, holding a long finger up at Naruto's protests, "it's not like the ones you're used to. You'll be surviving against _me_." The amount of menace in her voice stirring unease in my gut. _The Hokage wouldn't trust a psychopath with a grudge with Naruto and Sasuke,_ I chanted to myself. _There's a reason she's acting like this._ That didn't make me feel any better.

"Ne, kiddos, " she said, her entire demeanor changing. "I'll see you tomorrow at Training Ground Three, at about…. how about five in the morning? Any objections?" Naruto whimpered a little. "Great, it's unanimous! Bye~" Inoko-sensei vanished in a swirl of leaves and we were alone.

* * *

 **Well then. You now know which part of Inoko is most like me. Review please, or I may chicken out and take it down.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So... I wasn't expecting this to get that much attention, let alone Moonflower itself to get far more attention. Thank you guys!**

* * *

 ***Inoko's POV***

"You too?" I asked dryly before throwing down the shot of sake. I made a face as Kakashi poured us both another drink.

"Unfortunately," he sighed heavily.

"I presume you're going to bell test them?"

"I'm still not sure how you found out about that…"

"Cause your nee-chan is awesome," I said with a wink.

"Please stop calling yourself that." His forehead connected with the bar. "I hate kids." I patted the younger man on the back.

"We all do, Kakashi."

"Well, well, what have we here?" Anko drawled. "Are you two out on a date?" My mind went blank for a second at the sheer horror of the idea of dating Kakashi as the aforementioned jounin choked on his sake.

I whacked him on the back and glared at Anko. "Will you stop doing that to the little shrimp? He's going to choke to death someday because of you."

"Aah, but you guys are so much to tease!" she grinned widely. "And what else is a girl supposed to think? A moderately attractive girl always hanging around a _very_ attractive guy… People will talk~" Kakashi joined me in glaring at her.

"Ok, for one, the very thought of dating Kakashi makes me want to hurl for more reasons than you think," I said bluntly. "No offence to you, ebi-chan."

"Please stop calling me that."

"No. Two, I don't like him that way, never will, and have pretty much adopted him as my idiot porn reading brother - oh, don't act like you don't know about the Icha Icha under your bed." Even out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that he was blushing.

"So if not a date, then why are you guys at a bar?" Anko asked, plopping next to me.

"We've both got genin teams to test tomorrow," Kakashi explained.

"You too?" Asuma said as he joined us at the bar.

"Unfortunately," Kakashi and I chorused. "So now we're drinking our sorrows! Besides, it's not like Kakashi is going to be on time anyway, so he has time to deal with a hangover in the morning."

"I resent that."

"Hush, you." All joking aside, I was… concerned about my team. To say that I was surprised upon seeing Shikako was an understatement. I had expected… not myself, no. It was one of the first things I learned when I came to this Konoha. I didn't exist here.

So when Sarutobi told me that my request for a genin team had been accepted - _you do understand that this is a great show of trust that we're putting into you, Inoko-chan? I do, Hokage-sama. Thank you -_ I had been ecstatic. Granted, I'd probably be failing them, because reasons I had yet to see, but still!

Yet on the other hand, it served to show just how little I was trusted here after twelve years of faithful service. Sarutobi trusted me - _how could he not after what I showed him all those years ago?_ \- but the elders did not, and I had a strong suspicion that they had fought both my appointment to jounin and more recently my genin team.

… _. My thoughts are getting too depressing._ Which obviously meant that I had to drink more.

Anko preempted me, and shouted, "More sake down here! The poor bastards are going to need it."

"Here's to annoying kids that we could do without!" I said, raising my glass. The other two men clinked theirs against mine, said "Hear, hear", and as one we threw it down.

* * *

 ***Shikako's POV***

I was the first one at the training ground. If Kakashi had been our teacher, then it wouldn't have made much sense to arrive as early as I did. If there was one thing that I remembered about him, it was that he was always horribly late. The boys both arrived at roughly the same time, some five minutes before the allotted time.

Inoko-sensei had been late, sure, but she said that she had overslept. Would she be on time?

"Looks like you're all here," Sensei's voice came from behind us. We spun around to see her cheerfully perched on one of the wooden posts in the clearing. "Glad that you're on time, because we're a bit pressed for it. Another jōnin is testing his students here later, so the sooner we're done, the sooner we can eat." She flashed us a grin.

"Yeah, yeah, so what do we have to do?"

"It's simple, really," she drawled, settling into a seated position before pulling a locket from a pocket of her vest. "I only have time for one kid. The one who takes this from me gets to stay as my apprentice. The other two get sent back to the Academy." She spun it around her finger. "One other thing: get a scratch on this, and I'll kill you." She didn't say it like a treat. Just a fact of life.

I tried to restrain my shaky limbs as Naruto protested against the rules. _Is she bell testing us? What's so special about the locket?_

"Sounds troublesome," I decided, doing my best to keep my voice steady. "When we get it, one of you can have it." Sensei watched me for a second with a look on her face that I couldn't read. Something told me that was going to happen a lot. The corners of her mouth twitched.

"When I say start, you may begin attacking."

"So, Sensei, can we have the locket?" Inoko laughed loudly.

"I'm afraid not. The only way you can get it from me is to take it by force."

I shrugged. "Worth a try."

"Yes, it was. It's always best to try to resolve conflicts with your words before your weapons," Inoko agreed, sliding off the post. " _Readysetgo!_ " I moved back hastily with Naruto. Sasuke went for the trees.

"Naruto, surround her with as many clones as you can and try to keep her in the clearing," I said in a low voice, though I had no doubt that she could hear us. "Take ten more clones and have them set traps in the trees." Sasuke would attack if given the opportunity, right? "Tell Sasuke to take any opening you give him if you find him, ok?"

While the boys did their thing, I sent my shadow shooting towards her as the clones mobbed our sensei. She was… good. Very good at taijutsu, and I suspected that she was holding back because we were genin.

I wasn't surprised when her eyes snapped over to my shadow and neatly avoided it, stabbing a clone in her escape. She was a Yamanaka, after all. Then she started popping clones.

I threw a cluster of kunai and shuriken at her, but she kawarimied with a log and appeared right below Sasuke. Coincidence? Unlikely. Unfortunately, he fell for the obvious bait. The Naruto clones clambered after her, which caused some problems for Sasuke. Finally, he had enough and threw a katon jutsu at her. When the flames died down, Inoko was nowhere to be seen.

Then her hands reached out of the ground and grabbed Sasuke's ankle. "Zombie no jutsu!" her slightly muffled yet still cheerful voice called out, then she pulled him under. Only his head was poking out. … _What is our sensei smoking?_ She popped out of the ground, bent down, and poked Sasuke on the nose with a "Boop." Sensei turned to me and grinned. _Uh-oh._ She moved faster than I could keep up with, appearing right in front of me.

"Hello, deary," she said with a wide grin, then punched me in the gut.

* * *

 ***Inoko's POV***

I felt kind of bad about punching a twelve year old kid in the stomach. More so with the shocked look on her face as she tried to suck in air.

"You shouldn't just stand there," I rolled my eyes. "That's just a recipe for disaster. Ongaku Jumon: Iro no jutsu!" I twisted my chakra with a snake hand seal and cast the genjutsu. I knew I had hit Shikako with it, saw her eyes start to glaze over, but then she shook it off like it was nothing. Granted, it wasn't one of my strongest, but still! I was impressed.

I knew I had been caught when I couldn't move. My hand jerkily moved with Shikako's to pull the locket from my neck and toss it over my shoulder. I heard Naruto screech in horror, then his loud "Got it!"

I had missed this.

Shikako released the shadow jutsu and bent over, still trying to catch her breath. I turned around to the boys. Several Naruto's were digging Sasuke out of the ground while another two were frantically checking over my locket for scratches.

"That was there before, right?" one asked the other. "Right?!"

"I don't know! Maybe? I hope so, or we're all dead, 'ttebayo!"

"Yare yare, Naruto," I sighed, amused at his antics. "You've got the locket now. So which of the three of you is going to stay with me?" I could see the look on his face falter as he stared at the locket in his hand. Shikako gestured to Sasuke. Naruto looked at the locket again, then tossed it to the dark haired boy, nearly giving me a heart attack. "Please don't toss that around," I muttered. "Well, it pains me to say it, but you passed~"

There was nothing but silence in the clearing. Then Naruto shouted, "What?!"

"You pass," I repeated, beaming at them. I had kind of worried that this modified version of the bell test wouldn't work on them, but thankfully everything had worked out. "What did you think the point of this exercise was?"

"To put the good of the mission ahead of the good of the individual," Shikako said quietly.

"Correct. This is why you were all put onto three man teams. This is why I purposely pitted you against each other. Because when people put their own goals, their own desires above the good of their team and the village, people die. If you couldn't do something as simple as work together for a common goal, then you wouldn't be worthy of being called a shinobi of Konoha." I watched them all carefully. _Note to self: speak to Shikako about eye contact._ "Did you take a look at the stone here? It's a memorial stone for shinobi killed in action." I reached a hand out and closed my eyes. _I miss you._ "Many people are on here." Not my precious people, though. They would never be on this stone, not if I had a say in it this time around.

I spun around and grinned at them, destroying the solemn moment. "Yare yare, pets, I believe Team Seven will have its first mission tomorrow at eight. What do you say?" Naruto cheered and Shikako gave a wavering smile. Sasuke merely huffed and looked away. _Note to self: remember that Sasuke is still an ass._ "Well then! I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow! Bye~" And then I vanished, leaving my new genin team gaping in the swirl of leaves.

* * *

 **Ongaku Jumon: Iro no jutsu - Music Spell: Color Technique. This is one of quite a few genjutsu that Inoko has developed.**

 **And for those of you wondering, yes, she will persist in calling Sasuke 'Duckling'.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I was bored. Thus, you have this.**

* * *

And just like that, the rest of my morning was free. Sasuke left nearly as soon as Sensei did, and Naruto decided that ramen was the appropriate response. I declined the offer of ramen for second breakfast, and instead went to track down Shikamaru.

He was at home, playing shogi with Dad. "I passed the test," I said quietly, settling down and leaning against Shika. I saw a trace of amusement on his face, and suspected that he knew exactly who I got.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed. "What's he like?"

"She," I corrected absently. "She's… weird. She's very creepy. I don't think I like her very much." Dad laughed softly.

"Most people seem to think so," he agreed. "But she's been a trusted jounin for nearly seven years now. You can trust her." I made a noncommittal sound. I still didn't like her.

I found myself going over to the Yamanaka flower shop to see Ino. Not only did I want to see my friend, I wanted to know what she knew of her clan member, and maybe then I'd learn why she had taken the place of Kakashi as Team Seven's leader.

"Shikako!" Ino cried as I entered the shop. "I want to know everything!" A smile played at my mouth. After filling her in on this morning, she gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "Inoko-san is kind of weird. She's always wandering around Konoha in the middle of the night, and you can barely see her house for the flowers."

"Isn't the 'ino' name reserved for the heir?" I asked, confused. It might be different in the Yamanaka clan, but for the Nara, only the clan head and heir had the 'shika' name. Ino shrugged.

"Yeah, but she just showed up out of nowhere when I was a baby and insisted that was her name." She arranged a few flowers, then studied it. "Inoko-san got a house on the outskirts and minds her own business for the most part." She laughed softly. "She used to babysit me when I was younger. Yeah, she's creepy as all get out, but she's really nice. I kind of envy you." I smiled weakly at her encouragement.

"Now, come on, let's go see how Sakura did." With that she dragged me out the door.

* * *

The clock kept ticking. I contemplated throwing a kunai at it, but that was too much trouble. Groaning and rolling off my bed with a grunt, I glared at the blinking clock. Nearly midnight. _I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon, am I?_

After I untangled myself from my covers, I flipped on the coffeepot and pulled out a book I found after I dismissed my students. Might as well be productive.

During the war, I had done my best to keep up my studies. My teammates - notably one - had teased me for it, but supported me nonetheless. But he couldn't do that now. Not anymore.

I shook my dark thoughts away as I poured the foul liquid into my cup. Thirty years old and still hated coffee, but I had learned to deal with it over time. Joys of insomnia.

Kakashi had failed his team as he always did, and spent the afternoon gripping to me about how 'today's genin are so pathetic'. He ran away - ahem, had somewhere to be that he just remembered after I asked him to help me with my emo duck after he activated his eyes because 'you're my favorite kohai, after all'.

Yamato, I bring you justice.

Glaring at the sludge in my cup, I absently rubbed the seal on my right forearm. It usually didn't itch much anymore, but it had its moments.

Because a seal on the forearm was a bit of an oddity among Konoha nin, I had gotten a tattoo to cover it up. It took up most of my forearm, but it was totally awesome, so no regrets. Owl, leaves, and a jewel. Tenzo had asked me why I got it.

A memory of shouting and punching him in the face appeared, and I chuckled. _I wonder what the dork's doing now._

"Why don't you just switch to a nocturnal lifestyle?" I spun and threw a kunai at the voice. The owl tilted his head to the side and gave me a deadpan look.

"Will you stop summoning yourself in the middle of the night?!" I demanded. "You're going to give me a heart attack or I'll accidentally kill you or something." Fukuro straightened his head and blinked.

"You haven't summoned me in a while, and I naturally became concerned about your health." I stared flatly at him.

"I have other summons who are much more useful in combat," I finally said.

"I'm plenty useful," Fukuro huffed, ruffling his feathers.

"You are an elf owl, and a small one at that," I rolled my eyes. "You are maybe useful as a distraction." The smile I had been holding back finally broke through. I picked my tiny summon up and gave him a little squeeze before setting him back down. He squawked in annoyance and began flattening his feathers. "You're more like a cute pet." The elf owl glared at me before desummoning himself. "Hehe. Dork."

* * *

"Now, for our first mission," Sensei said the next morning. The bags under her eyes seemed darker than usual, but she was plenty cheerful. "Well, it's more like a lesson." Naruto visibly deflated. "Have you guys ever heard of guerilla tactics?"

I had a very bad feeling about this.

"It's kind of like a track and attack thing," she explained. "I will give you a target, and you will attack using whatever you like." Naruto raised his hand. "Yes, Naruto, that includes whatever prank items you may have." He grinned and began to giggle. Sasuke and I inched away from him. "I will send a shadow clone with you, both to make sure you do it and to see how you do it." She made the snake seal and three copies of her appeared.

"Eh? Aren't you going to follow one of us?" Naruto demanded.

"Nah, I got to catch up with a friend of mine. Bye~" She vanished. The clones looked at each other.

"Who gets who gets who?" the middle one said. "I have dibs on Shikako."

"Rude," the one on the left huffed. "FIne, I have Naruto."

"Fubber-nuggets," the right one sighed. "Sasuke, come along, you and I are going to meet a friend of mine. She's the sensei of some of your classmates…" She grabbed him by the collar and began to drag him away with a cheery wave at the rest of us.

"How do you know the shadow clone jutsu?" Naruto demanded.

"A friend taught me before you were born," the left one explained. "He was a lot like you, now that I think about it. Now, you've met Maito Gai, right?" _Is she… using us to prank jounin?_ Sensei wouldn't do that, right?

Right?

….. Damn it.

"Now, Kako-dear, how good are you at chakra sensing?" the clone asked as we perched on a roof top. She was watching me with an intensity that made me squirm a little.

"I-I'm ok at it," I stammered. "I can sense p-people most of the time."She watched me for a bit longer in silence. I looked away.

"Ok then. So, Kako-dear, can you sense the people in the building here?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Ok, close your eyes and look for someone with chakra like… say, a live wire." I frowned and focused on the signatures below us.

"I think I found it," I said after a moment. "Now what?"

"Here," Sensei said, handing me a…. _a water balloon._ Who on earth was I messing with? "When he comes out, just drop this on him. If he get's annoyed, just tell him I told you to do it."

"Who am I dropping this on?" I asked slowly, wondering if I should be prepared to run for my life.

"An old friend of mine. Don't worry too much about it." Strangely enough, I was. Closing my eyes, I focused on the lazily sparking chakra below us. Finally, it began to make his way to the door. _Ready…. Now!_ I dropped the water balloon and heard it hit something. Sensei and I peered over the edge, and my stomach dropped.

Standing below us, silver hair dripping, was none other but the man who was almost my sensei. He snapped his book shut with deadly finality, and Sensei began to snicker before bursting into deep belly laughs.

"H-Hi, ebi-chan," she gasped through her laughter. "Sh-shrimp can get dehydrated if they're- they're out of the water for too long." She kept laughing before she exploded. Kakashi finally turned around to see my pale face.

"Ah. It was you." Those simple words, spoken in almost a friendly way, felt so deadly. I swallowed and slowly ducked out of sight.

* * *

 **Inoko has a thing where she likes to prank other jonin. Now she has students to do it for her so that she'll have an alibi.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've literally updated all of my fics expect this one, so I figured, why not?**

 **... that's actually a really good question.**

* * *

I paused mid sentence as the shadow clone exploded and returned its memories to me. Shikaku raised an eyebrow at me as my mouth twitched uncontrollably. "Oh, and if Kakashi comes over here with Shikako, it wasn't exactly her fault." Yoshino's eye twitched.

Shikaku closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. "I'm not going to ask why. I want to be able to claim ignorance."

"Probably a good idea," I agreed before becoming serious. "So you've never noticed anything odd about Shikako?"

He frowned. "I take it that this is related to your… abilities." I nodded. Yoshino's hands clenched at her apron.

"And you asking after Shikako -"

"Is classified," I finished. Everything about me and my 'visions' were highly classified. Sarutobi was the only one who got the closest to a complete story. Shikaku, I trusted with my life. I would trust him with the truth, but I knew that Danzo kept tabs on him, and I didn't trust the elder as far as I could throw him.

One thing about Danzo that I knew: no matter what universe I was in, he was not trustworthy with any information.

"A good deal of this is concern as her sensei," I said, trying to mollify the clan head. "I can only get info out of the boys' files, due to the fact that their parents are currently kind of dead with no family members. Well, Sasuke does, but I can't exactly walk up to Itachi 'hi can we talk about your brother for a bit?', can I?" Shikaku chuckled softly, pouring a cup of tea for us both. I nodded my thanks.

"We thought that she had hypersensitivity to chakra for awhile," he said, frowning as he remembered. "She was always crying and had issues breathing. We were surprised that she learned to use it at all. And then there was that night…" I nodded. I remembered both times, once as a frightened baby, and the next as a confused and grieving teen. "She reacted very strongly to that chakra."

"We were very worried that day," Yoshino added. "A lot of people… never recovered, especially young children. We thought she might be one of them. She was so loud before that, and then she was... she didn't make a sound."

"I see. I'll be careful then." I stood and bowed. "Thank you for speaking with me, and for the tea."

"Of course," Shikaku inclined his head. After leaving the Nara household, I wandered around the streets for a while. Of course, it didn't take long for Kakashi to find me. He was wet and not pleased at all. He was dragging Naruto by his ankle, Sasuke under his arm, and Shikako was thrown over his shoulder.

"Care to explain why I had to convince Kurenai to not murder Sasuke and why Naruto and Gai were having a paintball fight? Or perhaps why you got the Nara clan head's daughter to drop a _water balloon_ on me?" I pretended to look shocked.

"They did that? Oh dear, that wasn't nice of them."

"Don't you dare act innocent," he said flatly.

"Aw, take a chill pill, ebi-chan," I wheedled.

"Don't call me that."

"But I had a bet with Kurenai that my little Uchiha was cooler than her Inuzuka, so it's not my fault what Sasuke did."

"He dumped a bottle of tick remover on his head."  
"What? Sasuke, that was very rude of you." Putting my hand next to my mouth, I loudly whispered, " _I'm so proud of you!_ " Going back to my normal voice, I scolded, "I do not condone those kinds of actions at all. _This is why you're my favorite._ Very rude. _Totally awesome!_ "

"I can hear you," Kakashi deadpanned.

"No you can't."

"Hey, Inoko-sensei!" Naruto shouted, sitting up. "I have a question!"

"Shoot."

"Is this guy your boyfriend?"

" _No_ ," Kakashi said quickly and firmly. Sasuke landed with a grunt as Kakashi dropped him. He let Shikako down a bit more gently and let Naruto's leg go. All three of them scrambled behind me.

"I feel kind of insulted," I pouted. "Is the idea of dating me that reprehensible?"

"You're always calling yourself my big sister, and the thought of - just no."

"... I kind of ship them," Shikako muttered.

"They totally should date," Naruto agreed. I turned around and gave them my Crazy StareTM. They flinched back a step, then decided as one that it was high time to leave.

"Now that my troublesome genin are gone, let's go get some grub, I'm starving." I grabbed his hand and dragged him away. "I'm in a sushi mood, what about you?"

Kakashi sighed heavily and allowed himself to be dragged. "It's better than ramen," he gave in.

* * *

Sensei was waiting for us in the training field nursing a large cup of coffee. Every time she took a drink, she made a face and shuddered. I was quickly coming to realize that while she might look absolutely terrifying, she really was just a teddy bear. Before any of us could say anything, she gave us a glare and hissed, "If any of you, _Naruto_ , speak above a whisper for the duration of this morning, I swear to the Sage and back you will all go missing."

"Hangover, Sensei?" I asked softly, She nodded and took another drink of coffee. Being quiet wasn't a problem for me, and Sasuke rarely spoke anyway. Naruto, on the other hand...

"Gai took Naruto's paint balloons as a challenge, and thus he had to issue the next one: a drinking competition."

"Who won?" Naruto demanded. Inoko-sensei glared at him for a moment before sighing.

"I did, of course! I'm your - ow - sensei, after all. Also, Sasuke, I would avoid Kurenai for a week, turns out that she was PMSing or something."

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"Aw, sh- They didn't cover that in the Acade- no, they didn't." She sighed heavily. "You know what, you guys are dismissed for today." As she walked off I could swear I heard her mutter, "I am not explaining that to him again."

"Hey, Shikako, what does PMSing mean?" Sasuke snapped his attention to me - oh god, he didn't know what it meant either. How to explain this to them...

"... It means run for your life."

* * *

 **Tada! Review please, it gives me life.**


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize if I got Shikako's chakra affinity wrong. I seem to remember something about it being earth, and I didn't feel like slugging through 100+ chapters to confirm. *sigh* Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter! Also, the bold isn't working right now for some reason. *SIGH* hopefully that will be fixed soon.

* * *

I decided that I rather liked my new students. Sasuke was slowly becoming nicer, and words from Shikako after a spar between the three of them helped Naruto become not quite as annoying. Shikako herself was never annoying. No, she interested me more than anything else. It had been awhile since I actually had a decent brain teaser.

She was incredibly adept at sensing, better than even I was at her age. Her drive to learn more and become stronger was impressive as well. Combined with her excellent chakra control, I wondered if her situation was something like mine… Nah, that would be ridiculous.

"Alright, pets, we're going to learn something new today, and then we're taking a D-rank!" I said, clapping my hands together. As gently and as awesomely as possible, I pulled out chakra papers. "But first we have to do a little experiment. These little papers here tell your chakra type. Don't be wasteful, these are expensive." I handed them each one before pulling out a slip myself. "The way they work is simple. Just send a pulse of chakra through, like so. See?" I sent my chakra through and and resisted a smile at the way the kids stared as it crumbled away. "This means I have an earth affinity. Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi all tend to gravitate to earth, so Shikako will probably have earth affinity as well." Her paper crumbled she tried.

"Earth," she murmured softly. "You were right, Sensei."

"I usually am," I replied, scratching my head. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that Sasuke is going to have a fire affinity, just like every other Uchiha I knew." He sent a murderous glare at me that I promptly returned, even including a little killer intent. His eyes flickered away and Shikako shifted uncomfortably. _She sensed something that direct? I'm impressed._

Sasuke's paper ignited and quickly turned to ash; I nodded firmly. "Hn."

"Told you so. Now, Naruto, I'm afraid I can't guess yours _too_ accurately, but Uzumaki generally had water alignment due to their island home."

"Wait, there's more of me?" he said, blinking in surprise.

"Yeah, you should have covered that in the Academy. The Uzumaki were the primary clan of Uzushiogakure no Sato, in the Land of Whirlpools. It's an island not far off the coast of the Land of Fire. Unfortunately, they got wiped out between the last two wars, and the few that remained went into hiding." I sighed heavily. I remember how excited Naruto had been to learn that he might have family members. How he had scoured the Alliance in an attempt to find red hair.

"... Sensei?" Shikako asked quietly. "Are… you ok?" I gave her a thin smile.

"I had an Uzumaki friend," I explained shortly. "But they died in the war." Looking up to the sky, I added in a low voice, "They all did." I shook off my mood and smiled at Naruto. "Anyway! What do you have, Kit?"

Naruto frowned and focused on the paper in his hand. It eventually split in two. "What is this supposed to mean?!" he demanded.

"It means that you have wind," I explained, then giggled creepily. "In other words, you broke wind." I laughed as the three of them groaned. "You're just jealous that I make awesome puns!"

"Believe me, Sensei, there is no jealousy."

* * *

"Aw, how cute," Sensei cooed as I held Tora. "Nekoneko-chaaaan~" she hummed, relieving me of the cat. "Kako-dear, can you do me a favor and tend to Naruto's injuries? Also, Naruto, that's not how you deal with a cat."

"I noticed!" he shouted. "I don't understand why a creepy lady like you gets along so well with them!"

"Because I have five of them at home," she deadpanned. I blinked. She didn't actually have five, right? Because that would be crazy…

"Don't you have a life?"

"Not really."

"What does your boyfriend have to say about all those cats?" Her eye twitched.

"Kakashi has no say in it because he's not my boyfriend."

"Oh, fine then. Your boytoy."

"That does it!" She shoved Tora at me and shoved up her sleeves. Naruto paled and began to back away. I noticed the tattoo on her right forearm, but it was quickly hidden once she wrapped her arm around Naruto's neck. Strangely, I could feel chakra emanating from it, almost like a seal. "I'll teach you, you little punk!"

"Sensei, shouldn't we return Tora to his owner?" I said as she strangled my teammate. He was going to be ok, right?

"Oh, right," she said, letting Naruto go so he could gasp for air. She took Tora back from me and cooed to him.

"Our sensei is a beast," Naruto whispered loudly. Inoko-sensei paused and slowly turned back to face him with a creepy grin on her face.

"What was that, Kit?"

"Uh, I said that our sensei is the best, dattebayo! Ehehe…" A wide smile covered her face.

"I thought so. Onward!"

When we got to the missions desk and returned Tora to Madame Shijimi, Sensei began to rub her chin. "Ne, Hokage-sama, I don't suppose we could take a look at the C-rank missions?" Naruto gave a gasp of delight as I went cold. It had only been a month or so since we graduated. The Hokage raised an eyebrow.

"You believe them to be ready?"

"They've learned quite a bit," she nodded. "At least enough for a low C-rank." There was an amused look in Sarutobi's eyes.

"Very well. I have just the mission for you."

* * *

"Well, now that we're all here, we can get started," I said cheerfully. It was early yet and my adorable students had dutifully turned up. … _I'm turning into Sensei._ Tazuna was behind me, yawning but ready. I restrained my childish urge to make a face at Izumo and Kotetsu - honestly, did they ever go on any missions, or was their sole duty in life to guard the gate? - and instead gave them a little wave as we walked out. As I dropped behind the others, though, I turned and pulled a face at them before signing _C-rank. Losers._ Kotetsu pulled a face back at me as Izumo rolled his eyes.

Being more sensitive when it came to chakra - thank you, summons - meant that I noticed the chūnin following us earlier than I had before. Shikako, the one most likely to notice them, seemed a bit tense but not afraid. _That's fine by me,_ I thought, keeping a mental eye on the Demon Brothers as I directed the kiddos setting up camp for the night. Naruto went around scouting the perimeter, Sasuke went hunting, and Shikako prepared the fire.

"Not bad," I mused when they were all done. "Could have done it faster, but practice makes perfect." I showed them how to cook meat efficiently with the least amount of mess and smoke. Of course, I also had to prevent my little Uchiha from murdering Naruto after the latter decided his wide shirt collar was perfect to toss his leftover bones in. Admittedly, it was pretty funny, but I was a sensei now and had to be responsible.

The Demon Brothers came and went, moving around and being very careful to not get too close. Which was probably best for them, seeing how I had acquired quite a nasty reputation during the twelve years I'd been here. Some of the weirdest rumors I'd ever heard too.

Shikako seemed to notice them about mid-morning. I could see her tense up and her chakra flicker in something akin to resignation and dislike. Odd.

"Sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm?"

"You're looking scarier than usual."  
"Oh, I'm just worried about my plants," I said with a smile. "I got my adorable little niece to take care of them while I'm gone, but she is a genin now, so she might not have time. I do love those plants…"

"What kind of things do you grow, Sensei?"

"Well, I have a good deal of tropical white morning glory, as well as some daffodils. My mother grew those in my childhood home, so I have a bit of sentiment attached to them…" I continued to talk about my plants with Shikako, doing my best to take her mind off the Demon Brothers lurking nearby. I had quite a few night blooming flowers, and other medicinal plants that I kept on hand for self care.

Kakashi had rubbed off on me enough to where I hated being in the hospital.

It was nearing evening when I gasped and said, "Oh dear, it seems I dropped something a while back. Kids, go ahead and set up camp nearby, I'll be back in a bit." I smiled and shunshined away. I could here Tazuna muttering about 'irresponsible jōnin'. Heh. _If only you knew._

By the time the Demon Brothers realized I was tearing straight towards them, I had closed about half the distance between us. They immediately took off, but I was a good deal faster. Dropping in front of them, I smiled, "Hello, boys."

"O-Orochi-hime," one of them whispered.

"Aw, you recognize me! That means you know what is going to happen next, right?" I began to leak killing intent. "You can either surrender or fight. And let me tell you, if I don't get what I want, it's going to end badly for you." They glanced at each other briefly before splitting and rushing at me. "Really? They never ever listen! Summoning jutsu!"

* * *

I froze as I felt the violent spike of chakra in the direction that Sensei had left. I had suspected that her excuse that she dropped something was a flat out lie, but didn't think that she would be taking on our tagalongs now.

"Shikako-chaaan," Naruto whined. He was struggling with getting our latest meal on a spit. Sasuke was out setting traps, otherwise I would have had him help Naruto. I sighed and crouched down beside him.

"So you do it like this…"


	6. Chapter 6

"I told you it would be useless," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I watched them out of the corner of my eye. "Gōzu and Meizu, the two Demon brothers. I'm going to assume you're not here for a pleasure trip, are you?" Meizu spat at my shoe. "... Well, that's not very nice. Now, I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to answer them truthfully," I continued as I pulled out a scroll. Unsealing its contents, I pulled out a tool that Ibiki had given me as a joke a few years back. Their eyes went wide. "Why were you following my team, who are you working with, and who are you working for?"

Silence answered me.

"Well then, I guess I finally get to use this for the first time! I'll warn you in advance, I'm not entirely sure how to use this properly, but I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go along~" They both recoiled as far as they could.

"I'm going to ask you one more time," I said, my eyes glinting in a way I knew frightened people. "Why were you following my team? Who are you working with? Who are you working for?"

* * *

"Maa, sorry for being so late," Sensei said as she dropped in. The boys and I all jumped up, ready to fight the sudden intruder. "It's just me, but good reactions nonetheless."

"We wouldn't have noticed you if you didn't want us to," I said, raising an eyebrow. I was steadily becoming more comfortable with Sensei, but sometimes I realized just how dangerous she was and just how out of my league I would be if we fought.

"Probably not," she agreed amiably. "Now, Tazuna-san, care to tell me why we have Mist nin courtesy of Gato after us?" He began to choke on his food. She whacked him on the back. "Yare, yare, it won't do to choke to death on your food."

"How…" he rasped before taking a heavy drink.

"I got it out of the nin that were following us since Konoha. But I want to hear it from you as to why you lied and endangered my students on a B-rank mission or higher." It didn't take him long to spill. Sensei closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing heavily.

"Protocol states that we return to the village," she said after a moment.

"What?!" Naruto shouted. "Why? We've been doing good so far, and you took on those jerks just fine! They didn't even know what hit 'em, right? Besides, we took this mission! We'd just be cowards if we backed out now." She seemed uncertain. I was pretty sure she _wanted_ to do it, but she was holding back and thinking about something.

" _She's been a trusted jōnin for nearly seven years now,_ " Dad had said. Implying that there was a time where she wasn't trusted at all. My gaze drifted back to Sensei as she was lost in her thoughts. _Snake eyes._ Could she be…

No. They wouldn't have given the Last Uchiha, the jinchuuriki, and the child of a clan head to someone who could possibly be a traitor.

Right?

* * *

After carefully weighing my options, I decided that the best thing to do would be to continue with this mission and give the elders the middle finger. Was I going to be in trouble for this? Maybe. Would I give Sarutobi another wrinkle? Most likely. Would my team approve?

Totally.

Naruto was excited, Sasuke apathetic, and Shikako actually deflated a little. _Odd._ I had felt her watching me; I'd be a terrible jōnin if I didn't. Being Shikaku's daughter, she was bound to be intelligent. If she was anything like Shikamaru, she was brilliant.

I had watched their training a few times when the kids thought I had left. She was good for the boys. She brought them together and was helping them become the devastating force I knew they could be.

"Meh, onwards!" I said cheerfully after camp hand been packed up the next morning. "We must be… um… taking advantage of… hm… the Springtime of Youth?" Naruto glared at me.

"No," he said firmly before walking away.

"Fair enough."

The rest of the trip to Wave was relaxed, much more so than my own first C-rank. Granted, it would be really hard for this one to go worse for me than that one did. Shikako seemed slightly twitchy and overly cautious. Somehow I got the impression that she didn't like me. Hm. Problem.

When I sensed two rather familiar chakra signatures approaching at a fast pace, I slowly grinned. _About time._

"Get down!" I shouted as a sword came spinning out of the trees. I mentally noted Shikako lashing out with her shadow, dragging Tazuna down with her. _Clever girl._ Momochi Zabuza shunshined to the handle of the blade, looking at me from over his shoulder.

"The Orochi-hime. What a pleasant surprise," he said.

"Demon of the Mist Momochi Zabuza," I nodded. "Your timing is impeccable. And by that I mean, completely peccable~!"

* * *

I blinked at Sensei's rather blasé reaction to the A-ranked missing standing in front of us. It was strangely calming, though my heart still slammed in my chest.

Zabuza sighed heavily at her strange comment about his timing. "See, you always do this. I make an amazing entrance, and you completely destroy the atmosphere." Wait. Did they actually _know_ each other?!

"Maybe because you're an overly dramatic drama queen?" Sensei suggested, crossing her arms. "Also, Zabuza - or should I say, Zat-Booty-Zo -, honey, are you hot or cold? The arm and leg warmers suggest that you're cold, but your shirtlessness says you're overheating. Unless you're trying to impress me into ceeding the battle to you? Also, Zabu-babe, has anyone ever told you that stripes and spots do _not_ work for you? Or anyone for that matter."

Zabuza rested one hand against the tree as the other pinched the bridge of his nose.

"God, I hate you, Yamanaka."

"I try. Anyway, what's the score again? Five to three in my favor?"

I… couldn't believe this. They were bantering in a rather friendly manner, but there was no doubting the killing intent seeping into the air.

"Kids, get into a Manji formation around Tazuna-san," Sensei added, almost as an afterthought.

"Aren't you two friends?" Naruto asked, confused. Sensei gave a sharp, bitter laugh.

"Zabuza and I are about as much friends as Madara and Hashirama were. Don't be off your guard for a second."

"Finally, you're taking me seriously!" he said mockingly.

"I know I can take care of you, but my adorable little genin might not be able to," she sighed. Zabuza's eye twitched.

"Ah yes, no one can stand up to you, Orochi-hime, daughter of the Sannin."

What.

Sensei's entire body froze except for her right eye, which was twitching furiously. "How long," she growled through gritted teeth, "is it going to take to squash that stupid rumor?!"

"Hey, I'll help you get rid of it if you hand me the bridge builder," Zabuza offered.

"H to the E to the double L no, my friend," she snapped, cracking her knuckles. "Kiddos, protect Tazuna. I'll deal with Zabuza."

* * *

 ***cough* I'm back? I managed to lose access to the doc containing this, otherwise I would have posted a chapter ages ago. But I found a link in a practically dead Discord server, so I copy pasted everything into another doc that I could easily access, hence this chapter. I wrote more than half of this in the space of a couple hours.**

 **Speaking of Discord, I have a Discord server for all things Moonflower, along with original works by your truly! Link's in my profile, and I would love love love to see you guys there!**

 **MCMG out!**


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